November 27, 2010

Just had the "First Mommy" talk...


   Carissa and I were watching a discovery show on a family that was having 6 babies. The mommy and daddy were talking very lovingly about sadly about how much they wanted children and how worried they were about the 6 babies they were hoping to have.  They were showing the ultra sound pictures of the babies and I was explaining the cool ultra sound machine and how the doctors were seeing the babies in the mommy's tummy etc...

Wait for it...
  "Mommy was I born from in your tummy, Or,".... Much thought....  "Was I born from a China mommy tummy?" 
  Me: "Yes, you were born in a Chinese mommy's tummy. And when you were born your China mommy knew she could not keep you and take care of you and she took you to  Ch____  (Orphanage name) and let the ladies there take care of you. Until mommy and daddy could come for you and take you home."

C:  "She left me there and the C___ ladies beat on me!"
Me: "Your tummy mommy did not know that those ladies would be mean to you. She left you there to be warm and fed and cared for and she hoped you could be adopted and loved forever."  "We all make choices in our lives and some of them are not good choices. Those ladies made bad choices when they were mean to you and the other kids at C____."
  Me: "Do you know what adoption means?"  
C:"It means you have a family."
Me: "It means you are loved forever and you will always be with us. That you are OUR daughter." 

C:  " I'm hungry.." 
Me: "Lets go feed you..."

   All of my children have had different reaction to the first mommy talk.  WE wait until our kids  bring it up especially with C. Because she has shown great fear and distress about leaving us and loosing us.
  But this is some thing that needs to be constantly brought up now that C has brought the subject up I know she is ready...  I think tonight we will see if she wants to read When you were Born in China. She is ready...  

  With every day new milestones are reached with Carissa and today was one of them.  I think the next topic I add to the story of being born in China will be on forgiveness....   Because today... I learned to forgive the ladies at  C____   for the pain my daughter experienced in their care.   

   Now we are off to make cookies... and I have a feeling that all day I will have a special lady in China on my mind...  and in my prayers. 

1 comment:

Aus said...

Good morning Dawn - a great set of posts - yeah we teach thankfulness as well as 'right and wrong'!! ;)

But yeah - the China talk - I remember the first two very well, Chase is - of course - too young. Like you - we always wait until our kids 'bring it up' - they are the ones who know when they are ready for it!

Nice work - great conversation - and glad you let her 're-direct' - she'd had 'enough' for that sitting!

hugs - super happy for you guys -

aus and co.